Look around. You desire endless things. Your career feels like you’re running in place. Your relationships are a tangled mess of unspoken expectations. You’re overwhelmed, anxious, and pretty sure the solution is some magical life hack you just haven’t found yet.
Wrong.
The problem isn’t your life. The problem is you. You’re making it all way too freaking complicated.
A book by this Taiwanese businessman, Jin Weichun, called The One Thing in Life (人生只有一件事), nails this down with brutal simplicity. He argues that we’re all idiots running around trying to solve a million different problems, when in reality, there’s only one thing we ever need to focus on: learning how to live properly.
That’s it. That’s the whole game. Everything else—your money problems, your boss problems, your “why won’t they text me back” problem is just a symptom of you missing the basics of living.
Your Crap, Their Crap, and Crap You Can’t Control
Think of every problem in the universe. They all fit into one of three buckets:
- Your Crap: Your thoughts, your actions, your choices, your attitude.
- Their Crap: What other people think, say, or do.
- The Universe’s Crap: Traffic, gravity, the weather, global pandemics.
Most of us spend 99% of our energy rummaging through the second and third buckets. We get pissed off about politics. We obsess over why someone left us on read. We complain about the rain.
This is monumentally stupid.
It’s like trying to steer someone else’s car from your passenger seat. You have zero control, you look like a maniac, and you can’t focus on your own driving.
The only bucket you can control is your own. The only ROI that matters is the one you get from managing your own shit. So, the first step is to ruthlessly stop giving a damn about the other two buckets. Focus entirely on what you can do, right here, right now.
Surprise: You Are the Problem
Here’s a tough pill to swallow: Every external problem in your life is a reflection of an internal one.
- Hate your job because your boss is a micromanager? Maybe the real problem is you lack the courage to set boundaries or find a new job.
- Annoyed that your partner is messy? Maybe the issue is your need for control and your inability to communicate without nagging.
This is actually the best news you could ever get.
Because if you are the source of your problems, then you are also the source of the solution. You don’t have to wait for the world, your boss, or your partner to change. You just have to change yourself.
Blaming everyone else is the ultimate low-agency move. It’s choosing to be a victim. Taking responsibility, on the other hand, is where all your power lies.
The Superpower Nobody Uses: “My Bad.”
We’re terrified of admitting we’re wrong. We think it makes us look weak. In reality, it’s a power move.
But there’s a difference between a real apology and pathetic, self-pitying guilt.
- Guilt is useless. It’s just you wallowing, saying, “I’m a terrible person.” It’s a dead end.
- True admission of fault is a tool. It’s looking at your action and saying, “That was a dumb move. It produced a bad result. I will not do that again.”
It’s not about beating yourself up; it’s about generating the energy to correct your course. A real apology is followed by a change in behavior. Anything else is just noise designed to make you feel better for a second.
Outgrow Your Bullshit
Remember that thing you were obsessed with in high school? That breakup that felt like the literal end of the world?
Where is that problem now?
It’s gone. Not because you “solved” it, but because you grew. You leveled up, and from your new vantage point, the old problem looks tiny and insignificant.
This is the strategy for all of your adult problems.
Stop wrestling with them head-on. Stop obsessing over them. Instead, focus all your energy on self-cultivation. Work on being more honest. More disciplined. A better listener. More courageous.
By focusing on elevating yourself, you achieve what the author calls a “life displacement.” You don’t solve the problem; you make it irrelevant. You outgrow it.
The Only Takeaway That Matters
So, here’s the summary. Forget the 10-step plans and productivity hacks. If you want to fix your life, the core insight is this:
Stop trying to fix your external world and start fixing how you operate within it.
Get your own house in order. Master the fundamentals of being a functional, responsible human being. The rest, as they say, is just details. Now stop reading articles about how to live and go do the work.
